Following an extensive investigation, Ofgas has concluded that there is no connection between the sum 2+2 and the number 4.

A spokesman said that they had looked at it very carefully, and found that it was entirely coincidental that sometimes 2+2 equalled 4, whereas at other times it equalled 5 or pretty much anything else.

‘Anyone who says there is a relationship between these two things is completely wrong,’ he said. ‘We have conducted the same type of investigation into the purported connection between the pope and catholicism, and found that there isn’t any. It’s exactly the same with people who allege that energy companies all put up their prices by the same amount at the same time. And neither is there a connection between our findings and the large amounts of money we are paid by the energy companies.’

(news parody… but it is nearly believeable!)